July 14, 2024

Nice guy Gareth Southgate ‘total filth in the bedroom’, alleges former lover

He’s the most successful England manager in nearly 60 years, the man almost single-handedly uniting the nation, and an all-round good guy, but apparently he’s also ‘a bit of a deviant in the sack’. That’s the claim being made by his former lover, Delores Blakemore.

The blonde 49 year old told NEWS of the NEWS:

“When I see Gareth on TV it really makes me laugh. You all think he’s such a sweet, middle-of-the-road kind of guy but there’s a very, very naughty side to him which he likes to keep hidden well away.”

She went on:

“Take the Euro ‘96 penalty shoot-out against Germany as an example. The next day, whilst the rest of the team went home to their families or drowned their sorrows, Gaz came round to my flat. He was dressed in a full Germany football kit, had a bag full of tournament-legal footballs with him, and was scowling in that steely way that he does when you see him on TV. Without speaking he gestured to the bedroom and, once there, made me strip naked from the waist down and stand facing the wall. For the next hour he proceeded to kick football after football against my bare cheeks. The shots got harder and harder and his screams of ‘goal’ as he kicked each ball grew louder and louder until we both eventually climaxed. It was an odd experience but also one of the most exhilarating of my life.” 

Amongst many stories too graphic to print, Ms Blakemore told our reporters of a scenario that allegedly occurred in 1995, shortly after Crystal Palace were relegated from the Premier League:

“He was particularly kinky if something really bad had happened”, she told us. “When Palace got relegated he spent days on end with me and, I’m not going to lie, things got quite twisted. At one point he lay on the floor, attached a flag to his erect penis and ordered me to ‘take a corner’. At first I didn’t know what he meant but I soon realised that he wanted me to kick his ballsack as if I was trying to put a pinpoint cross into the penalty area. After a little persuasion I agreed and spent what felt like hours repeatedly kicking him in the nuts until we both achieved orgasm. It probably sounds weird to most people but that was a very, very special afternoon and one that I’ll always remember fondly. The trip to A&E later that evening was quite traumatic though, I won’t lie.”