World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
NotN
Cars to run on Fabergé eggs in bid to cut the cost of motoring
As motorists up and down the UK will have noticed, global instability has led to…
Easter Bunny Found Dead
In news that will break the hearts of children up and down the country, NEWS…
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Ed Sheeran denies ‘borrowing’ lyrics from other artists, telling fans: “Don’t stop believin’…”
Carrot-topped singer-songwriter, Ed Sheeran, has been at the high court this week, accused of plagiarising…
Why paying £12m to a complete stranger is a victory, by Prince Andrew’s lawyers
Lawyers acting on behalf of estranged royal, Prince Andrew, have today been explaining to bemused…
Bloke who secretly despises his job receives cufflinks, pen and a tie-clip for his birthday
A man who outwardly appears to be the epitome of white collar success but who…
Stephen Graham to star in every new British TV drama for the next 1,000 years
TV execs have announced that the star of Line of Duty and countless other popular…
Brits set to take part in unprecedented number of ‘business meetings’ over Christmas period
Following Downing Street’s recent announcement that a photo showing the Prime Minister and others enjoying…
Technology can go f**k itself
We’ve all enjoyed the benefits of rapidly developing technology. Computers that can spot the early…