Easter Bunny Found Dead
In news that will break the hearts of children up and down the country, NEWS…
NotN
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Premier League to introduce green cards, allowing referees to instantly grant foreign players permanent UK residency and working rights
In a flurry of rule changes this week, Premier League referees are to be given…
Woman literally cannot drink water unless it’s from a Gymshark bottle
A 22 year old woman from London has confirmed that she is unable to drink…
Scientists confirm most hotel beds 95% semen
A report released today suggests that the beds of most UK hotels are predominantly made…
World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
Disney+ to air 24 part series chronicling the exploits of Chewbacca’s left testicle
Streaming platform Disney+ has denied sucking the Star Wars franchise dry with the announcement that…
New sitcom about farcical football club actually just documentary about Everton FC
It has been revealed that a new sitcom that was thought to chronicle the farcical…
Woman who just got back from a run desperate to tell you the route she took
A woman who just got back from a 2¼ mile run literally cannot wait to…
Amazon introduces breathalyser to prevent ‘pissed-up purchasing’
The online retail giant, Amazon, has responded to pressure from consumer groups by introducing a…