Stephen Graham to star in every new British TV drama for the next 1,000 years
TV execs have announced that the star of Line of Duty and countless other popular…
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World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
Brits set to take part in unprecedented number of ‘business meetings’ over Christmas period
Following Downing Street’s recent announcement that a photo showing the Prime Minister and others enjoying…
Technology can go f**k itself
We’ve all enjoyed the benefits of rapidly developing technology. Computers that can spot the early…
Cows discover cocaine with street value of over £500bn
A herd of dairy cows, known locally for their tasty milk, surprised their owner and…
F**k this craft beer bollocks
Brits have finally had enough of craft beer. That’s the message coming through loud and…
Happy Herd Immunity Day!
NEWS of the NEWS wishes all of its readers a Happy Herd Immunity Day! With…
Middle-class woman worried she’s becoming a Kalms junkie
A middle-class lady from Hale in Cheshire is concerned that she’s developing a life-threatening addiction…
England fans once again prove why they’re the best in the world
In the face of Euro 2020 cup final defeat, England’s band of happy-go-lucky fans once…
New generation of England fans learns meaning of the phrase ‘It’s the hope that kills you’
A whole new generation woke this morning to a sensation that the rest of us…