England fans once again prove why they’re the best in the world
In the face of Euro 2020 cup final defeat, England’s band of happy-go-lucky fans once…
Sport
New generation of England fans learns meaning of the phrase ‘It’s the hope that kills you’
A whole new generation woke this morning to a sensation that the rest of us…
Football didn’t come home
NEWS of the NEWS is sad to report that football didn’t come home last night….
Welsh, Scots and Northern Irish planning perfectly normal, uneventful Sunday
The people of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland collectively woke this morning to the expectation…
Nice guy Gareth Southgate ‘total filth in the bedroom’, alleges former lover
He’s the most successful England manager in 55 years, the man almost single-handedly uniting the…
England v Denmark: We put them head-to-head to find out which country is best off the pitch
Tonight’s Euro 2020 semi-final will decide whether it’s England or Denmark that go through to…
ITV’s Euro 2020 pundits voted ‘most punchable’
An online poll conducted by NEWS of the NEWS has concluded that ITV’s main football…
“Just give us the trophy now”, say measured, unemotional England fans
England football fans are 100% certain of their team winning Euro 2020. That is the…
Dancing like a twat whilst holding a national flag guaranteed to get you on TV
Broadcasters have confirmed that dancing around and shaking a flag like a soft twat pre-kick-off…
95% of football fans ‘couldn’t give a sh*t’ about Premier League restarting
With the 2019-20 Premier League season set to restart this week, NEWS of the NEWS…