Matt Hancock falls on sword, having washed it after aide allegedly ‘fell on it’ repeatedly
Breaking News: Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has resigned. NEWS of the NEWS has learned that…
Month: June 2021
Dancing like a twat whilst holding a national flag guaranteed to get you on TV
Broadcasters have confirmed that dancing around and shaking a flag like a soft twat pre-kick-off…
Are you an entitled Tory tosspot? Take our quiz and find out
Have you got what it takes to join the ruling classes in Whitehall? We’ve devised…
Matt Hancock “sniffed own fingers” in COBRA meeting says source
In what has been a tumultuous week for Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, further revelations have…
Prime Minister’s opinion of Matt Hancock switches from “f***ing useless” to “dirty dog”
Following the revelation that government Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, had an affair with long-time friend…
Pescatarians to be reclassified as ‘fussy carnivores’
In a move that aims to redefine the eating habits of over 1.3m people in…
Londoners trial e-scooter scheme that makes them look like ‘right twats’
London is the latest UK city to trial an e-scooter programme which allows members of…
Harry and Meghan: Baby’s names in no way chosen to cynically appease the Queen, the media and the British public
Following the birth of their daughter, Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex…