World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
Politics
Matt Hancock falls on sword, having washed it after aide allegedly ‘fell on it’ repeatedly
Breaking News: Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has resigned. NEWS of the NEWS has learned that…
Are you an entitled Tory tosspot? Take our quiz and find out
Have you got what it takes to join the ruling classes in Whitehall? We’ve devised…
Matt Hancock “sniffed own fingers” in COBRA meeting says source
In what has been a tumultuous week for Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, further revelations have…
Prime Minister’s opinion of Matt Hancock switches from “f***ing useless” to “dirty dog”
Following the revelation that government Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, had an affair with long-time friend…
Sleaze-ridden Tory government to take moral high ground when reviewing the BBC
The UK government is expected to announce sweeping reforms of the BBC once an ongoing…
Cummings: “It weren’t me, guv”
The former Chief Advisor to the Prime Minister, Dominic Cummings, has today been interviewed by…
God congratulates Joe Biden on election victory
In a move that has angered Trump supporters, God took the unprecedented step yesterday of…
President Trump to assume Lizard-like form if he wins second term
NEWS of the NEWS understands that US President, Donald Trump, is making plans to shapeshift…
Populist leaders plan piss-up in brewery
The world’s populist leaders have joined forces to arrange a party at a brewery. NEWS…