UK’s influence over US now limited to re-runs of The Benny Hill Show
With President Trump’s second term in office now in full swing, the US’s newly hostile…
Politics
Musk to remove parts of own body in bid to make it more efficient
Elon Musk is officially on a body remodel spree, planning to ditch anything he deems “excess baggage,” including his left ear, leg, and even brain regions responsible for kindness. Next stop: a head in a rocket ball!
World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
New York jury finds Trump guilty of being himself
The jury in a New York civil trial has found former President Trump guilty of…
Man who thought his Chinese wife was Japanese, in charge of UK economy
A man who once referred to his wife as being Japanese, even though she is…
Conservative Party members face difficult decision of choosing between man with brown skin and lying simpleton
With the number of candidates vying to be the next leader of the Conservative Party…
Larry the Downing Street cat secretly hoping Kurt Zouma becomes next PM
Whilst the Tory party chooses our next Prime Minister, spare a thought for Larry the…
Tory Party members to decide who gets to f**k you next
In a demonstration of democracy at its finest, the 200,000 or so members of the…
It’s (sort of) over!
NEWS of the NEWS is delighted to report that it’s over… we think. Thank fuck…
Satirical news sites struggling to keep up with non-stop shitstorm that is 10 Downing Street
The world’s satirical news sites put out a joint statement today, pleading with Boris Johnson’s…