February 29, 2024

Larry the Downing Street cat secretly hoping Kurt Zouma becomes next PM 

Whilst the Tory party chooses our next Prime Minister, spare a thought for Larry the Downing Street cat, whose unenviable job it will be to share a home with the victor. 

A spokesperson for Larry told NEWS of the NEWS that, having considered the various candidates, the Westminster-based moggy hoped West Ham footballer, and convicted cat-kicker, Kurt Zouma, might consider throwing his hat into the ring as a late substitute. “I’d take a few slaps and a kick if it prevented insidious authoritarianism, overseen by a total and utter fuckwit”, he added.