July 14, 2024

Man who thought his Chinese wife was Japanese, in charge of UK economy  

A man who once referred to his wife as being Japanese, even though she is actually Chinese, has been handed the role of Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Gaffe-prone Conservative MP, Jeremy Hunt, has been judged by the government as capable of single-handedly saving the country from financial ruin during what experts agree is the most challenging economic climate in a generation, despite being unable to remember his wife’s country of origin.

NEWS of the NEWS understands that the choice of Chancellor came down to two candidates: Mr Hunt and and the former children’s TV star, Gordon the Gopher. Hunt was selected when MPs realised that Mr Gopher was in fact an inanimate object with a hand up its arse, a bit like Kwasi Kwarteng.