Man in his 50s losing ongoing battle with nasal hair
A 51 year old man from Newport Pagnell has confirmed that he is losing his…
Lifestyle
Cars to run on Fabergé eggs in bid to cut the cost of motoring
As motorists up and down the UK will have noticed, global instability has led to…
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Bloke who secretly despises his job receives cufflinks, pen and a tie-clip for his birthday
A man who outwardly appears to be the epitome of white collar success but who…
Brits set to take part in unprecedented number of ‘business meetings’ over Christmas period
Following Downing Street’s recent announcement that a photo showing the Prime Minister and others enjoying…
F**k this craft beer bollocks
Brits have finally had enough of craft beer. That’s the message coming through loud and…
Happy Herd Immunity Day!
NEWS of the NEWS wishes all of its readers a Happy Herd Immunity Day! With…
Middle-class woman worried she’s becoming a Kalms junkie
A middle-class lady from Hale in Cheshire is concerned that she’s developing a life-threatening addiction…
Welsh, Scots and Northern Irish planning perfectly normal, uneventful Sunday
The people of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland collectively woke this morning to the expectation…
Pescatarians to be reclassified as ‘fussy carnivores’
In a move that aims to redefine the eating habits of over 1.3m people in…