Social Distancing The Perfect Excuse For Anti-Social Brits
Most of us are following the government’s advice on social distancing and keeping at least…
Lifestyle
Easter Just “Sh*t Version Of Christmas” Say Kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Petrol Only £1 Per Litre (But You Can’t Use It To Go Anywhere)
News of a huge drop in the price of fuel has been greeted with delight…
“Don’t F****** Cough!” says Britain.
“That’s right, don’t you dare f****** cough!” That’s the message the British public is giving…
“Look At My Latest Tik-Tok” Amongst Parents’ Top 3 Most Dreaded Phrases
Britain’s parents have confirmed that, even in the midst of a pandemic, the threat of…
Middle Class Woman “Traumatised” After Exercising Without Wearing FitBit
43 year old Finance Manager, Anna Hancock, told NEWS of the NEWS, “I’d taken my…
“Nice Guy Driving A BMW” Actually Normal Bloke Borrowing W***** Boss’s Car
Following reports from Wilmslow of a BMW driver allowing other motorists to pull out in…