British public ditches Government advice and decides herd immunity is way forward
In reaction to the government’s shifting and, some would argue, vague pandemic advice, the British…
Lifestyle
Amazon introduces breathalyser to prevent ‘pissed purchasing’
Online retail giant, Amazon, has responded to pressure from consumer groups by introducing a breathalyser…
Britain’s Biggest Lockdown Cravings: Draught Guinness and Dogging
NEWS of the NEWS asked the British public to tell us what they were missing…
Danny Dyer To Open His Private Petting Zoo To The Public
TV hard man Danny Dyer has announced that he will be opening up his private…
Putting Out The Recycling Now The Most Embarrassing Activity Of The Week
The simple act of putting out the recycling, once just a mundane part of domestic…
Amazon Officially Confirmed As The UK’s 5th Emergency Service
In surprising news, the UK government has announced that retail giant Amazon is to be…
“Christ, it’s nearly May!” Says Britain
Britain has woken this morning to the sudden realisation that it’s nearly May. Trudy Smith…
Lockdown Britain “Smelly and Pissed“ Says Report
It’s official, Britain is now dirtier and drunker than it has been for hundreds of…
Runners Immune To Covid-19, Assume Runners
It’s official, Britain’s runners are immune to Coronavirus. That’s according to… Britain’s runners! NEWS of…
Easter Weekend Indistinguishable From Any Other Period During Lockdown
What have you been doing this weekend? The chances are that your answer is likely…