May 18, 2024

Happy Herd Immunity Day!

NEWS of the NEWS wishes all of its readers a Happy Herd Immunity Day!

With a relaxation of Covid rules starting in England today, people throughout the country are now free to remove their masks, catch Covid and infect other non-mask wearing people. They can even go to nightclubs and other environments that maximise the virus’ ability to spread.  

Many are delighted with the decision – despite the Health Secretary having the virus and the Prime Minister and Chancellor self-isolating as a result – and will spend today embracing their new-found freedom by ignoring the fact that cases of the virus have reached levels not seen since the lockdown last Christmas.

A spokesperson for the government said:

“Despite the huge risks presented by the virulent Delta variant, we urge you all to go about your business just as you did before March of last year. We will continue to maintain a watching brief where Coronavirus is concerned, it’s just that we are now going to leave you all to spread the virus between you until herd immunity is achieved. It was, after all, our original plan.”