June 15, 2024

Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids

NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what they really thought about Easter. Parents might be a little surprised by what they had to say.

12 year old Kayden Barrow told reporters: “When I was little I used to get really excited about Easter. I’d go to bed buzzing the night before but now I’m not bothered cos it’s dead boring.” 

We asked Kayden what exactly it was that made him so disinterested in Easter. “I realised that when I woke up all I’d get was a medium-sized chocolate egg from the Co-Op. I get more than that when I go and see me Gran on a Wednesday! At Christmas I got three selection boxes. Three! That’s fifteen bars of chocolate. Easter’s rubbish!”

9 year old Isla Whiskney had similar thoughts. “Last year I got a ‘My Little Pony’ egg off my Mum and Dad. I didn’t say anything but I wanted to punch them both really hard!” She went on to explain why. “Well, it’s a baby’s egg! And also, it has less chocolate in it than the Nutella I have on my toast for breakfast. That movie ‘Hop’ is crap too”, she added.

Even the UK’s younger children seem less than enamoured with this time of year. 6 year old Harrison Farley told our reporters: “Easter? It’s just a shit version of Christmas innit. Last Christmas I got an ‘X Box One’ and a wicked remote control car. For Easter I got a ‘Paw Patrol’ egg and some smarties. The Easter Bunny is well mean!”