April 24, 2024

Easter Bunny Found Dead

In news that will break the hearts of children up and down the country, NEWS of the NEWS is sad to report that the Easter Bunny has died.

His lifeless body was found in a field just outside Cambridge in the early hours of Sunday by a man walking his dog.

A police spokesman told reporters that whilst the cause of death had not yet been identified, foul play was not suspected.

A leaked toxicology report suggests that the Easter Bunny had high levels of alcohol in his bloodstream plus traces of the drug benzodiazepine which is normally referred to by its trade name, Xanax.

We understand that Police are working on the assumption that Mr Bunny was suffering from an advanced form of myxomatosis and had ingested a toxic cocktail of drugs and alcohol in an attempt to relieve the symptoms.

He leaves behind a wife and 2,673 children.

We will bring you updates on this story as it develops.