Amazon Officially Confirmed As The UK’s 5th Emergency Service
In surprising news, the UK government has announced that retail giant Amazon is to be…
Month: April 2020
“Christ, it’s nearly May!” Says Britain
Britain has woken this morning to the sudden realisation that it’s nearly May. Trudy Smith…
President Trump ‘Just A Nice Guy Who Wants To Play With Puppies All Day’
In news that is likely to shock the world, NEWS of the NEWS can reveal…
Lockdown Britain “Smelly and Pissed“ Says Report
It’s official, Britain is now dirtier and drunker than it has been for hundreds of…
Bibles To Include Images Of President Trump As Anti-Christ
In a surprising ‘revelation’, pictures of President Trump are to be included in all future…
People Who Watched Satellites Last Night Wake Up Blind And Are Easy Prey For Triffids
Shocking news this morning as many of the World’s population wake up to darkness after…
Ofcom Rules That Holmes and Icke Both “Bellends”
The broadcasting watchdog, Ofcom, has issued a formal response to recent on-air comments made by…
Billie Eilish “Not Even Remotely Bothered” Everyone Calls Her ‘Billie Eyelash’
In an exclusive interview, American singer songwriter Billie Eilish spoke with NEWS of the NEWS…
Boris says: “W*nk for Britain”
The Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has today encouraged people that work from home to “W*nk…
President Trump To Play Multiple Roles In ‘The Wizard of Oz’ Remake
Hollywood caught the entertainment world off guard yesterday when it announced that it had concluded…