Government Admits It Moved Daily Virus Briefing To 5pm Or Later To “Scare The Living Sh*t Out Of You”
After much speculation the UK government has admitted that it changed the time of its…
Month: April 2020
“Look At My Latest Tik-Tok” Amongst Parents’ Top 3 Most Dreaded Phrases
Britain’s parents have confirmed that, even in the midst of a pandemic, the threat of…
Manatees “Just Dolphins With Down’s Syndrome” Claims Scientist
In science news, the controversial zoologist Helmut von Schittsberg has claimed that the manatee –…
Middle Class Woman “Traumatised” After Exercising Without Wearing FitBit
43 year old Finance Manager, Anna Hancock, told NEWS of the NEWS, “I’d taken my…
“Nice Guy Driving A BMW” Actually Normal Bloke Borrowing W***** Boss’s Car
Following reports from Wilmslow of a BMW driver allowing other motorists to pull out in…