In a surprising ‘revelation’, pictures of President Trump are to be included in all future versions of the New Testament. However, in news that will shock many of his God-fearing followers, he will not be portraying the messiah.
NEWS of the NEWS understands that the President’s image will be used in the later chapters of the Book Of Revelation alongside its various references to the ‘anti-Christ’.
Opinion is mixed on the decision. One of President Trump’s most vehement supporters, Jeremiah Johnson of the Wyoming Holy Institute of Theology & Evangelism, told our reporters: “This whole thing is a disgrace! Donald Trump is God’s own President and for the bible to suggest otherwise is downright blasphemy!”
Surprisingly, Vice President Mike Pence takes a different view on developments. He told us: “I’ve always known that Donald Trump is the devil’s son. I mean, come on, it’s not like he’s trying to hide it! He shows me his ‘666’ birthmark almost every day of the week, he’s so proud of it. His son in law’s family even own 666 Fifth Avenue in New York. He really couldn’t make it any more obvious!”
We asked the Vice President how he can continue to serve in a government that is headed by Trump in light of this knowledge. “I’m a very religious man”, he responded, “and I know from the Bible that once the anti-Christ is defeated the messiah will come again. Whisper it”, he added, “but I am the messiah!”