In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced by a QR code.
A spokesperson for the British government told News of the News:
“We’ve tried everything: The truth, half-truths, lies, and all the bits in between. What we’ve established is that nothing influences the public like a large, innocent-looking black and white QR code. Going forward we’re just going to put them everywhere and let the people of this country scan them. Our data suggests that we can literally tell them to do anything and, as long as it’s done via a QR code, they’ll go along with it. For some bizarre reason, QR codes are the most trusted things on the planet.”
A representative from the North Korean government echoed those sentiments. He told us:
“We’re not scared of telling people what they should do, but even in The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea there is sometimes an element of resistance. Thankfully, our glorious leader, Kim Jong-Un, realised that if we just use a QR code to spread our doctrine then the Korean people will go along with it, not think about the implications and, ultimately, conform to the norms of society that we dictate.”
Whilst the governments of the world are united in this new approach to controlling their citizens, not everyone is 100% happy. A spokesperson for Jen and Barry’s ice cream told us:
“We just use QR codes to link customers to our cleverly named new flavours or to enhance their understanding of our brand. We never for a second thought that we’d inadvertently be linked to a new form of oppressive global fascism that is likely to lead to mankind’s servitude for thousands of years to come. On the plus side though, there’s no denying that it will broaden our reach when it comes to engaging with consumers.”