December 6, 2022

Man in his 50s losing ongoing battle with nasal hair 


A 51 year old man from Newport Pagnell has confirmed that he is losing his battle with nasal hair.


Chris Hughes, an IT Consultant and keen swimmer, told NEWS of the NEWS:


“For years I was able to tame the contents of my nose with the odd tweek between thumb and forefinger or the occasional use of some tweezers… but since I turned 50 it’s like my body’s gone mad!”


“I bought one of those nasal hair trimmers, which seemed like a great idea initially. What I’ve now realised is that shaved hairs grow back thicker and stronger than before which means a daily fucking battle with these increasingly grey and spiky little twats that seem determined to protrude from my nostrils.”


“If it gets any worse, I’m setting fire to the bastards!”