July 11, 2020

Britain’s Biggest Lockdown Cravings: Draught Guinness and Dogging

NEWS of the NEWS asked the British public to tell us what they were missing most whilst living under lockdown.

Jason Stapleton from Dorchester told our reporters:

“I’m not a big drinker but I did used to go out for the occasional pint or three once or twice a week. Now the pubs are closed, like everyone else, I seem to be drinking much more regularly than before. It doesn’t matter what alcohol I buy though, it never gets close to tasting as good as a draught Guinness. Just thinking about a pint of the black stuff makes my mouth water!”

We asked Mr Stapleton if there was anything else he was missing that he used to take for granted:

“Well, there’s the dogging, obviously”, he confirmed. “I mean, who isn’t?”

Jessica Ashton from Scarborough told a similar story:

“I’m not someone that drinks beer to be honest. Maybe in a beer garden on a sunny day but that’s about it. Weirdly though even I’m craving a long, cold glass of draught Guinness. If I think about a pint of it being poured then it’s an almost erotic experience. It makes me miss the dogging even more!”

Phil Longstaff from Exeter shared the sentiments:

“I’ve been drinking a lot during lockdown and have had loads of different types of beer delivered to the house. Let’s be honest though, craft beer is b*llocks! Your first pint tastes OK but after that it’s just soapy dishwater. I’ve tried canned Guinness but that widget thing in no way recreates the magic of a freshly poured draught pint. Christ, I would happily kill someone right now just to get my hands on one! It’s the little things that are making lockdown tough” he added. “Draught Guinness is one and, like many people, not being able to have a shag in a car whilst surrounded by complete strangers is another.”