May 18, 2024

Brits set to take part in unprecedented number of ‘business meetings’ over Christmas period

Following Downing Street’s recent announcement that a photo showing the Prime Minister and others enjoying cheese and wine together during lockdown was in fact a ‘work meeting’ caught on camera, the British public has decided to follow suit.

Self-employed builder, Stephen Bullridge from Staffordshire, told NEWS of the NEWS: 

“They haven’t confirmed it as yet but it looks pretty likely that some form of restrictions will be in place over Christmas. Fortunately this won’t have any bearing on me as I’m rammed solid with business meetings throughout the festive season.”

“I’ll be starting with a [cough] business meeting at my mate Phil’s house on Christmas Eve and that’ll be followed by many, many other vitally important business meetings of various shapes and sizes through until New Year’s Day.”

Supermarket checkout worker, Anna Gibley from Lancashire, had a similar story to tell. She told our reporters: 

“It’s a little-known fact that supermarket staff have lots and lots of meetings, especially at this time of year. I already have at least four… er, business meetings that I’ll be compelled to attend between now and 1st January and the rumour is that my mate Keira might be arranging a fifth. It’s non-stop in the world of food-related retail I can tell you!”

Unemployed former school caretaker, Chris Brown from Essex, agreed. He told us: 

“I’m basically gonna be taking part in one long f***ing business meeting that’s due to last for the next two weeks. In fact it’s already started and I’m speaking to you from it right now, haha! Me and my [cough] business associates will be doing invaluable work which involves us assisting the world’s brewing industry in increasing both revenue and product demand. It’s a tough job with long hours but, even at this time of year, we’re fully committed to doing it. I’m sure Boris and his mates would approve!”