The world’s satirical news sites put out a joint statement today, pleading with Boris Johnson’s government to leave a little longer between mishaps.
The statement, to which NEWS of the NEWS is co-signatory, reads as follows:
“Dear Prime Minister,
Firstly, thank you! All governments provide us with the odd nugget of comedy gold but yours is the gift that keeps on giving. Never before have we been presented with such an array of mishap and incompetence that we could lampoon endlessly.
The trouble is, such is the volume of fuck-uppery perpetrated by you and your colleagues, that we’re genuinely struggling to keep up. In fact the letter you’re reading is probably already out of date as, presumably, you’ve since lied about something else or, just as likely, one of your cabinet has been caught shagging a German Shepherd. Either way, it proves our point.
We therefore respectfully ask that you leave a slight pause between each calamity so that we can get some sleep and maybe spend 10 minutes with the kids.
With sincere thanks (genuinely),
The World’s (Knackered) Satirical News Sites”