England v Denmark: The tabloid newspaper guide to which country is best off the pitch
Thursday’s Euro 2024 match promises to be a belter as tournament favourites England take on…
NotN
Attractive female Asian dentist ‘chosen at random’ for TV commercial, says major toothpaste manufacturer
An attractive Asian female dentist has seemingly been chosen at random by a major toothpaste…
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Premier League to introduce green cards, allowing referees to instantly grant foreign players permanent UK residency and working rights
In a flurry of rule changes this week, Premier League referees are to be given…
Scientists confirm most hotel beds 95% semen
A report released today suggests that the beds of most UK hotels are predominantly made…
Disney+ to air 24 part series chronicling the exploits of Chewbacca’s left testicle
Streaming platform Disney+ has denied sucking the Star Wars franchise dry with the announcement that…
New sitcom about farcical football club actually just documentary about Everton FC
It has been revealed that a new sitcom that was thought to chronicle the farcical…
Woman who just got back from a run desperate to tell you the route she took
A woman who just got back from a 2¼ mile run literally cannot wait to…
“What d’ya mean, it’s just a normal weekend?”, says Britain
Following consecutive Bank Holiday weekends, people up and down the UK woke this morning to…
New York jury finds Trump guilty of being himself
The jury in a New York civil trial has found former President Trump guilty of…