August 5, 2020

“Don’t F****** Cough!” says Britain.

“That’s right, don’t you dare f****** cough!”

That’s the message the British public is giving to… the rest of the British public!

Sid Flemming, a postman from Hemel Hempstead, told NEWS of the NEWS: “It’s getting ridiculous. I had to clear my throat yesterday after inhaling a passing fly. I swear if the people nearby had guns they would’ve blown my f****** head off!”

Pauline Yeast, a dental hygienist from Poole, told us: “The streets are full of people that have Coronavirus but don’t care who catches it. I was walking my cockapoo, Lily, yesterday and a man about 50 metres ahead of me actually coughed. Can you believe that? He didn’t even look bothered. They should bring back hanging.”

Need to cough or ‘hacked off’ by the coughing of others?

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