New sitcom about farcical football club actually just documentary about Everton FC 
Woman who just got back from a run desperate to tell you the route she took 
Disney+ to air 24 part series chronicling the exploits of Chewbacca’s left testicle 
Scientists confirm most hotel beds 95% semen 
Amazon introduces breathalyser to prevent ‘pissed-up purchasing’ 
BBC TV presenter accused of having a private life, doing things that were completely legal, and generally acting in a way that had zero effect on viewers 
Bloke watching women’s athletics on TV definitely not looking at their tits or fannies 
“What d’ya mean, it’s just a normal weekend?”, says Britain 
New York jury finds Trump guilty of being himself 
Ed Sheeran denies ‘borrowing’ lyrics from other artists, telling fans: “Don’t stop believin’…” 
Man in his 50s losing ongoing battle with nasal hair 
World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code 
Easter Bunny Found Dead 
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids 
Nice guy Gareth Southgate ‘total filth in the bedroom’, alleges former lover Man in his 50s losing ongoing battle with nasal hair
A 51 year old man from Newport Pagnell has confirmed that he is losing his…
World leaders to be replaced by omnipresent QR code
In a shock move, the various leaders of planet earth have agreed to be replaced…
Easter Bunny Found Dead
In news that will break the hearts of children up and down the country, NEWS…
Easter ‘just a shit version of Christmas’, say kids
NEWS of the NEWS spoke with a cross-section of Britain’s children and asked them what…
Nice guy Gareth Southgate ‘total filth in the bedroom’, alleges former lover
He’s the most successful England manager in 55 years, the man almost single-handedly uniting the…
Elon Musk to buy Persian cat and live in hollowed-out volcano
The world’s richest man and new owner of Twitter, Elon Musk, has announced his latest…
Man who thought his Chinese wife was Japanese, in charge of UK economy
A man who once referred to his wife as being Japanese, even though she is…
‘Are we getting an extra Bank Holiday?’, asks Britain
Following the sad news this week of the passing of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth…
Chelsea sack Graham Potter
News of the News understands that the London-based club has sacked its new manager, Graham…
Conservative Party members face difficult decision of choosing between man with brown skin and lying simpleton
With the number of candidates vying to be the next leader of the Conservative Party…