Dying for a pint? Reopening of pubs could make that wish come true 
95% of football fans ‘couldn’t give a sh*t’ about Premier League restarting 
Are you an ANTIFA terrorist? Take the government quiz to find out 
Nigel Farage to be pulled down 
Family with two electric cars also owns woodburner, firepit, barbecue, chiminea and ride-on lawnmower 
Bloke still convinced his stag do will go ahead 
President Twunt 
Children’s Puzzle #2: Where’s Trump? 
We wrote article three years ago that predicted Cummings would write article predicting pandemic 
If we’ve lied about Cummings it doesn’t mean we lied about Brexit, says Boris 
British public ditches Government advice and decides herd immunity is way forward 
Competition: Win A Family Day Out At Barnard Castle 
Dominic F***ing Cummings 
Trump supporters have higher IQs, claims President 
Keir Starmer owns a field and that’s a bad thing, apparently President Trump Just A Nice Guy Who Wants To Play With Puppies All Day
In news that is likely to shock the world, NEWS of the NEWS can reveal…
Lockdown Britain “Smelly and Pissed“ Says Report
It’s official, Britain is now dirtier and drunker than it has been for hundreds of…
Bibles To Include Images Of President Trump As Anti-Christ
In a surprising ‘revelation’, pictures of President Trump are to be included in all future…
People Who Watched Satellites Last Night Wake Up Blind And Are Easy Prey For Triffids
Shocking news this morning as many of the World’s population wake up to darkness after…
Ofcom Rules That Holmes and Icke Both “Bellends”
The broadcasting watchdog, Ofcom, has issued a formal response to recent on-air comments made by…
Billie Eilish “Not Even Remotely Bothered” Everyone Calls Her ‘Billie Eyelash’
In an exclusive interview, American singer songwriter Billie Eilish spoke with NEWS of the NEWS…
Boris says: “W*nk for Britain”
The Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has today encouraged people that work from home to “W*nk…
President Trump To Play Multiple Roles In ‘The Wizard of Oz’ Remake
Hollywood caught the entertainment world off guard yesterday when it announced that it had concluded…
Runners Immune To Covid-19, Assume Runners
It’s official, Britain’s runners are immune to Coronavirus. That’s according to… Britain’s runners! NEWS of…
Trump Accidentally Tells Truth
Washington DC: The White House was in disarray yesterday after reports suggesting that the President…